hmming and humming

A note of caution

2012-01-06T12:57:00.000+07:00

If you don't mean it, just don't say it. Don't say things for the heck of it. Look I don't mean to start the year with a post of angst, but I must emphasize that I will display high levels of intolerance for you phonies. Since they comprise a significant chunk of people I know (such is luck,) I must take proper precautionary measures to maintain my sanity. If I am making a significant effort to stay away from you, then yes, my friend I believe you are a phony. Stop saying things you don't mean. Poor memory, short temper, and spur of the moment will excuse you a couple of times. And yes, this is a note to self as well.

refreshing perspective

2011-12-31T20:46:00.001+07:00

Well ET did phone home and took off for a while. A fresh new perspective on all the things that meant nought and all those that are a bit close to the heart somewhat. While I can most sincerely say 'good riddance' to the year about to go by, well most of it was rather terrible, I realize that it would be quite a futile gesture. Here's to a year of absolute miseries, of utter chaos, of the bluest of blues, of a few moments of pute joy scattered here and there, and of a struggle for peace. There are some battles you lose, and some that you win, there are some that you won't fight, and there are those that you must. And then there are some battles that you go on fighting... for like Gamgee said, "coz there's some good to fight for."

With all the glorious battles, the dramas, the comedy of errors, the stolen kisses, and the moments of small romance, all those smiles and tears make one look at the past with such wistful glances. But the beauty of the past is only limited to what has been; the beauty of what is yet to be is unlimited, without a horizon beneath a golden sun. Here's to one step closer to the dream within, one step closer to loving, knowing, and feeling. One step closer to peace, to life, to God.

Happy new year!

ok now time for my cuppa ale. drink up me hearties.

To sum it up

2011-11-23T01:44:00.001+07:00

Did you pay too well and get naught much
Did they fall short of change while dealing the game
Did you give too much and take too less
Are you still counting your dreams, are you still praying?

Did you meet choice by chance near the bend
Did you take that road with a dead end
Did you not see that it mattered no more
The road or the end. Are you still running?

Hello Mr.Rabbit are you still listening
To the blues in your mind and the rhyme of time
Sitting in your hole as the world goes by
Will you not know and will you not see?

Did you look for your hero in shadows of doubts
Are you still chained to a past that keeps glaring from far off
Why steal glances at that which is far behind
Will you not leave and find new lands?

Did you laugh in the face of the strange fools
Who knew not where the mirth came from
Did they break that red box of joys
Now is it all a mask, or are you still laughing?

Did you fight your wars and win them too
Did you sit on your throne like a queen of old
Did you steal the light from a dark black hole
Are you still smiling? At least I hope you are.

ET Phone Home (100th post)

2011-11-15T17:15:00.001+07:00

Law 1: I have met 0.000000001 % of the world's population, and I am allergic to 95% of the ones I have met. This law is also known as the Law of the Penguin.
Corollary: Ergo, all the people I love, are therefore, aliens. I am not allergic to them.

Here's to the froody aliens I know. Mama Roy and Mannequin, well, neither of you ever stood a chance of being from this world. Hobson, Akki, Tuli, Priyanka and our Jackass have demonstrated distinct Betelgeusean qualities too, and of course there are the occasional inter galactic travelers like pattoo, moony and such.

Thanks for visiting the third rock.

Oh and another thing...

moi aussi

2011-09-20T22:24:00.001+07:00

My shine
My whine
My soul brother
My crib sister
My little one
My grannymom
My thinking pad
My mindfuck land nomad
My fellow wanderer
My 'in arms' fighter
My lil blue jukebox
My JD on the rocks
My mad hatter
My prima blabberrer
Dreamer friend and pride
You are my fried chips on the side

Happy birthday ma cher :)

For mae on 18th September, 2011.

We need Batman!

2011-08-19T22:24:00.000+07:00

It took me 3 hours to get back home in the crazy rain, Anna Hazare and accident hit Delhi traffic. This gave me some time to reflect on the apparent 'in' thing today, the (so called) revolution that's changing our country's landscape.

The solution to all my problems, and Shoiba's problems (Shoiba is my househelp,) and all of Debu's problems (Debu is the dude who cleans gutters in our building) is an institution called Lokpal, which has baby brothers called Lokayukta. They are completely independent of the government (like Supreme Court and Election Commission,) and no minister or bureaucrat will be able to influence their investigations. They can prosecute any corrupt official (basically anyone who 'they' think are corrupt,) and put them behind bars. But of course this is a very honorable and noble thing.

Let's create a parallel body which is arbitrarily elected, and give that body the power to undermine democracy. Oh, and the ironic part is the demand to create a bill within the Indian constitution which will undermine the constitution. Let's all beg for future annihilation of democracy and the advent of dictatorship in the world's largest democracy.

With all due respect to Mr. Hazare, who I am sure has a noble cause, I fail to understand how this bill will effect the common man. The common man doesn't have a say in this bill, and if the common man wanted to invoke his right, he had the RTI! Who judges the 'integrity' of the Lokpal members? Who guarantees that the Lokpal won't hold democracy to ransom, and send off the the cabinet to jail, replacing the same with a dictator?

I am very sure the cabinet deserves to go to jail, and the entire system is corrupt. However, creating another system to undermine the fundamental policies (re:democracy) of the country is insane. Of course the bill will get Modi and his folks back in power, who will definitely not pass the bill. And somewhere down the line this revolution will be forgotten, and we will +1 the next big 'in' thing.

Below, more blah blahs of the Lokpal bill:

The members will be selected by judges, citizens and constitutional authorities and not by politicians, through a completely transparent and participatory process. The entire functioning of Lokpal/ Lokayukta will be completely transparent. Any complaint against any officer of Lokpal shall be investigated and the officer dismissed within two months. CVC, departmental vigilance and anti-corruption branch of CBI will be merged into Lokpal. Lokpal will have complete powers and machinery to independently investigate and prosecute any officer, judge or politician. It will be the duty of the Lokpal to provide protection to those who are being victimized for raising their voice against corruption.

We need Batman. End of story.

blabberwalky

2011-08-17T21:16:00.001+07:00

And then He said 'Let there be words.'

they came strolling smoothly in hordes

Across valleys of green that touches your soul

unfolding visions like a symphony on roll.

What of stories I have never told

Of dreams caught with rainbow gold

Of souls bought for nought

Sold later without a thought

Long ago there was a book

written by them who look

beyond what they see

The ecstasy and the agony.

The book was lost

in times of bitter frost

She found it no more

and the answers it bore.

Riddles sat on little toadstools

glaring at her like ironic fools.

Nothing much could she say,

for the answers had lost their way.

So she sent a little prayer

packed in a little letter.

And put it in a red box,

she kept her fingers crossed.

And then He said 'Let there be words.'

they came strolling smoothly in hordes.

Like streams gushing forth free

with distant echoes of the sea.

Untitled for now

2011-05-17T10:51:00.001+07:00

Missing the girl who laughed with me at the idiots we saw

the rolling of the eyes at Binny's statements of no sense

the shared sense of dread at how work went

Missing the girl who was the apple of Johnny's eyes

The girl who made earth sound like God's music

with her voice so divine

Missing the girl who saw life with such keen eyes

and open arms of confidence

and took challenges with a pinch of wine

Loving the girl who went with me to places anon

and walked the roads to pubs of time

and drank the jagerbomb of life

Loving the girl who cheered me when I was down

and the one who I talked to as the one of two equals I knew

the girl who be my other half and may be my better half

Now we shall stay on our own paths loving and living as we are

But thought of you shall stay wherever I go

For that shall be my friend for ever more

A smile of memory when I hear the rain song

or joy ahoy! when they play the daddy cool

and the holi songs of times gone by

These words have been in my mind ever since you flew

To a land faraway where I cannot be

Hope for you and a gaping hole that none can fill

But such joy life shall bring thee my love

that laughter shall find you where you be

This prayer I shall keep in my thoughts.

One day again may we meet again

laugh and cry again, over some momos

and some screwdrivers and wine

And then you and I shall tell

The tale of wonders we saw

But upon that road you shall be with me... ever more

For Tulika Jha

The return of the madness

2011-04-23T23:06:00.001+07:00

Life was hibernating. Its been sleeping in some dreadful hollow for sometime, and it just woke up with bleary eyes from a long sleep. Life seems to be looking at a world which was different in the night before, when it was drowsy, from miseries, trials and general incurable malignant blahdom. It just woke up in the morning, and is preparing a fresh cup of tea and lighting a cigarette to go with the cuppa. It seems a tad unafraid, a tad refreshed and a tad bit jovial. Its a long time since it had laughed at the world. Somewhere in the night before a friend had said in a soothing voice, "Just go to sleep, in the morning the world seems more wholesome.' And so life, like a small child had gone to sleep fearing the dark, and hoping for the morning.

Incidentally, I had set out to write somewhat about the prevailing boredom, boredom that has forced some such bored mind to watch Wolverine (the worst mutant movie ever.) Boredom which made me clean and scrub my room at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, in spite of a running fever. Boredom which persistently makes me play the stupid bubble shoot game on the Nexus (which by the way has a huge crack on its surface out of no fault of mine.)

As I started writing, I realized I am not bored. Well, its not that I have an action packed life, with lots of entertainment ( which I do through amazing jackasses I know) or a bunch of people throwing witty comments (which again I do.) Such contradictions leads me to believe something, that has hitherto only been preached by preachy pink books. I am so blinded by what I don't have, that I don't see what I have. Oh sob sob! moment of clarity you say. Err no... I mean I am actually going to make an effort to put down the stuff that goes on in a terribly dramatic, exaggerated cutting chai ishtyle.

The kaleidoscope of emotions that keeps flying around, is worth more than a few words. For now it seems I am just coming back to life.

Well, good day to you too!

The Triumph of the Procastinatoros

2011-03-11T18:48:00.000+07:00

Things that make you go hmm. Lets get this straight. We like to mull over every single decision and action, pretending as if the ‘to be history’ of the world depended on that particular decision/action. Thank God it does not. For if it did the history itself would have been wiped out of existence. This is just one of the many imaginative reasons that we give ourselves, and conveniently delay the moment of action/decision.

Once upon a time, right after the point there was no time, a giant walked the earth. He gazed across the lush untouched greens and the sweet gentle rivers gleaming beneath the young sun. He was asked by the powers that be to look out for places where life could begin. He thought for a while, he sat for a while and thought some more. He slept through the night and then went for a stroll in the garden, and then when he reached the deadline given to him by the boss, he extended it and thought for a bit more.

Yes my friend, procrastination is the reason behind the late coming of life on earth. Not evolution as some (read Darwin) would have you believe. Procrastination!

The reason behind all the madness of life – the last minute creativity that leapt to the aid of Procastinatoros. Calvin knows best.

One small moment

2011-02-14T16:53:00.002+07:00

We have talked about them stars

We have talked about them blues

We have walked down those roads

That led from our doors

We ran along those fields of white gold

We walked along those paths of dark pines

we saw the horizon that was beyond the blue

the green that pierced the mind with dreams in hue

now I walk back to the hearth in home

to a dream that escaped some dark corner

and came to a door knocking in some moment

when miracles became true

life was once thus as if part of a dream

knew that it would get there if I strolled a bit

strive for the smile in a moment

and live for a joy in the next one

if there was a way we would find

some road to dreams anew

songs of life we heard no more

but yet there seems one I can hear

if there is one which I know

one which I can sing,

what does one do when out of a song

if the tunes gone of a rhythm in the mind

one would know how to sing a song

if the tune rhymed with the one I had in mind

But for now we shall hum songs never sung

In a voice that shall never come out of the mind

For within a world of mine it seems to find

A world where it seems a bit real

A walk

2010-11-30T01:32:00.001+07:00

Down by the road of twilight hue
We sat in a dream of blue
Moon he hung upside down
On the river's dewy mount
The willows sang to the heavens stars
and there she sat weaving tales on thread
We sat there harking tales of lore
enchanting us from long before
We didn't know the lore was us
The hue was us
The magic the light both within

finding god

2010-10-28T18:08:00.004+07:00

I used to have faith in God. I say 'used to' because afters years of trial, the faith seems to have eroded a bit, and what used to be a massive boulder of strength has gradually eroded into a pebble - a rather small glimmer of hope that flickers on at times. Strength being energy still remains, not drawn from faith, but from forces of stubborn indifference or fear.

It's possible to find God in the most simplest of things. God, as Graham Greene put it, is possibly as simple as a perfect equation. The perfect poem read at the perfect time, the right words said at the right time. The song that soothes away the bitterness, the melody that brings a smile. That perfect shade of blue in the sky after a red sun. The perfect shade of red on the Goddess. The scent of a green forest or the sound of a sea upon rocks.

Misery, I suppose allows us to retreat into a shell and look upon the self with utmost care, sympathy and there begins a road of self understanding. I guess it would have been better to do the same in a moment of pure joy. Finding the self in a moment of a smile. Perhaps, thats what finding God is about. To know the misery and not let it touch the small pebble at all. To know the smile and let it shine the pebble.

The Beaver and The Ant

2010-09-17T07:49:00.004+07:00

Mr Conning was the beaver

who lived in the giant beech by the river.

And that is where we are at the time

For the sake of a mindless rhyme

Mindless it is but not without a mind

because you never know what you can find

with a bit of mindless mind

Now lets not leave the tale behind.

A bit of this and a bit of that

Made the beaver weary and mad

He woke up every morning
And spoke this sole warning

Away I shall go one day
To Ithipa's green blue bay

"Tell me dear beaver," squeaked the little ant
"Why do you rave and rant?"

"It was only a bit of sugar in that pint of gin,

and that's long since been."

"I haven't nicked a bit of food

As I promised I would."

"Hmmphh," said Mr Conning, "Well its not just you,

there are many many other's too.'

Here he gave a sad sigh
And stared wistfully at the dark blue sky
With swirling grey circles of mist from his big black pipe against the divine starry tryst

Thus he began his tale of woe
The sorrow and the joy that he had let go

The ant sat and heard more
Of the beaver's tale from long before.

Over and out

2010-09-14T10:08:00.000+07:00

What?! That's it. Nothing much else to say.

Long live the left eye

2010-08-30T00:39:00.003+07:00

My right eye punched my left eye after they had this huge fallout. On a brilliant Saturday, they woke up and argued over who made the better dream. They went on bickering until the evening,

and then they tried to resolve it over a drink. That of course didn't help.

The left eye went 'Fuck you! You don't have to be right always,' and the right eye shouted ' thats it I am tired of doing all the work.' He got up and punched left eye. Left eye had to pay for the bill too. And I am the one stranded without any dreams.

Sigh.

Tripping on the moment

2010-08-28T09:01:00.003+07:00

A word or two wouldn't be enough
To tell the tale I had to tell you
Try as I may to get them right
They all seem stuck in blue

He said there was a song or two
they sang of the days gone by in summer's hue
I tried to listen
But notes they seem stuck in blue

Heard the waves crashing through a shell
And the sand tapping gently on the glass
I even heard the pines hmming and humming
And they all seemed stuck in blue

A bit from the night with her silvery dust
a pint of sea stirred in you
with some twinkle in her eyes
will make the palette all blue.

Depth of Field

2010-08-26T05:36:00.000+07:00

There are those moments when you want to write, when you are desperate to put down an infinitesimal fraction of the thoughts fleeting through the head on paper. A drought of words to complement a flood of thoughts, a bit of an irony.

I wonder what one would think if they fell down a rabbit hole, the thoughts that would cross the mind as they fell past, and if it was possible to know and be aware of every single thought. I am not sure whether that would be a good thing, but what I am sure of is this: there is a lot of information in the mind which we knowingly or unknowingly ignore. Strands of thoughts that simply float with in a set frame, coming into focus at the set focal point. (Depth of field)

And here we go again

2010-07-11T01:35:00.001+07:00

Thanks to the World Cup we have been witness to several showdowns. Here are a few forgettable ones and some more memorable ones:

Several German ones and a handful of English ones... The match made every single English fan hope and pray they develop a mild form of partial amnesia. The defense was non existent and the strikers were on another planet. In fact England's game had the potential to cause severe internal hemorrhaging in the very few people rooting for them. To cut it short, they were horrific.
2 Oranje fans and a handful of Yellow Green ones: Brazil was 1-0 up and the quintessential favorite was all set for another semi final. The Brazil fans in Monsieur Basu's atrium were content with the team they were rooting for. Enter two Oranje obnoxious fans screaming their support for the other team. To the utter consternation of the green yellow jerseys, Netherlands won. It was quiet a treat to see the crest fallen faces of the very same people screaming Brazzzzzzzzziiiilll! I was loving it.
Argentina and Germany: I have no recollection of this match.
Netherlands vs Spain: Its the 2 Oranje fans against one octopus and a bunch of red Spaniards. We shall scream, we shall win, and then we shall cook the Octopus and eat it!

A letter to the Moi

2010-07-06T02:12:00.003+07:00

* Written in Dublin, on Canal road on May 16th. This is a letter to myself. All characters implied are very real and are, therefore, not named. It can be yawn inducing, avoid reading!

Well this will probably add to the collection of posts that will not see the light of day for sometime. Its hard to imagine my world without the comfort of my own speech and the ability to express myself, which I do rather rarely.

Its even harder to imagine my world being a person I am not comfortable with, not giving every moment the best shot I could, out of fear of loss and disappointment. That was never a sustainable option, it could be a short term therapy. In fact, it is a great short term therapy! The keyword is 'short term.'

Its hardest to be the person I am at times, give every moment it's worth, and move on without expecting anything out of it... the amount of emotional turmoil that effort involves is borderline inhuman and can drain one of everything they loved in the first place. It does ultimately end up in a wondrous climax of a rare blissful moment, where you know you have achieved something after much toil. A sense of personal pride, content and a precious moment of romantique glory.

Its wonderful to dream, and to know, and then dream some more. Sooner you hope to reach a place where knowledge and dreams merge into a rather heady cocktail. Talk about the best bartender in the world!

The reason I have written this rather long discourse to myself is because I tend to overlook the quaint magic of these moments in the face of fear and disappointments. Its stupid to let it go, or even think of letting it go. Life would be far more ordinary without it, and of course then it would short term therapy time again, which is such a sheer waste of time.

* This is the first thing you should read when you are pissed off. This. Not Murphy's law.

** Do not listen to Radiohead or Floyd right now. Do not listen to U2 either.

*** Think about Tuna

**** If none of this has worked, have 5 shots of Whiskey and sleep, and wake up with a terrible hangover. The stupidity of the morning moment will overwhelm all other possible stupid courses you might have taken!

The tale of the apple

2010-06-25T23:01:00.001+07:00

She started it all once upon a time
by picking the wrong red fruit from the green branch
and therein the tale of the apple set forth

Little did the prince know the apple would be such a hassle
He gave it to Aphrodite dear and there it began
A battle with thousand ships

Much trouble had the apple caused
When it decided to hit him on the head
Plop it fell and then we knew
why humpty dumpty always fell down

Much glory the apple had by now
It went ahead got it a quote
And from there on you have it
An apple a day keeps the doctor away

Still here sits the sweet red bite
in its bright blue basket
The fairest of them all and the merry boys
They have all had their share of the apple

And so it goes

2010-06-24T15:43:00.000+07:00

Candle lived in night sky land

her smile so sweet and yellow

there she shone with a warmth

with fireflies on her crown

Mingled glow in twilght blue

she brought the music to the chile

the trees they laughed, the flowers danced

When dear candle lent her song

Poor stars they twinkled down

with tears from their pretty frowns

they missed the songs from far away

but could see the candle shine and sway

Sun, he came in a chariot gold

she walked away in her fading glow

He called to her, she wouldn't know

She couldn't go where he could go

She saw no more and was no more

But still she waits in night sky land

Waiting for the sun to come

And so it goes for ever more

The innkeeper

2010-05-23T11:29:00.001+07:00

Down by the road there from the door was a little inn

The wooden door and the wooden bench were there ages since

He built it when the days were old

They all went to the village inn for the bit of madness it had within

Behind those wooden doors he made them golden stakes and mugs of ale

He knew the faces that came there, their tales of woe and lives of joy

He knew the story of every face, and the moment of every tale

None knew him, yet they went to his inn for the bit of madness it had within

She sang them songs on dusky night of souls in love

The mannequin she was with a voice of life and songs of hue

She sang them loud but he knew more of whence she came

and whither she went, her tale of woe and flight of joy

She was the life of the bit of madness the inn had within

There was an old man on the stool, bitter he was with the world

He lost his soul long ago and spend his life all alone

He looked for it everywhere and found it within here again

He came there every day just to know the feeling again

He knew the man of old and shared his gin and tonic with him

A little girl there was, with laces pink

She danced with joy with the mannequin

She learned to laugh long ago and lit the room with her glee

She taught them how to make a smile with her laces pink

He watched her play and let her be, praying all the tears away

A Queen there was with eyes of pearl, she came there every day

She told them tales so bold and dazzled them with her radiance

She sat never in one place but spoke to all, reigning over the madness

He had a bone to pick with her, now and then, but loved her for her divine grace

He knew of those who loved her most but never told her anymore

Others there were who often came, a man of minds split within

He spoke in riddles and never knew what the riddles meant

A little prince who ran around and tried to chase the pretty lace

A poet grim who laughed and sang for the mannequin

The boy there was too who sang the blues and played them on his strings

A part of all the madness but within

Still there stands the inn with its keeper and its gin

Waiting for a summer day which will drive the winter away

He will go on his way to another road another inn

And build the madness there within

His holiness

2010-03-01T23:49:00.003+07:00

*Photo: Satrajit Basu

*Photo: Aruni B

Fleeting thoughts

2010-02-21T11:10:00.002+07:00

A race between time and dreams, seems like one of them will run out. Eventually.

Jump

2010-01-30T23:02:00.002+07:00

Places and faces 2

2010-01-18T21:33:00.004+07:00

Random blabberings

2010-01-16T21:31:00.004+07:00

I have been trying to figure this one out for a while. As a rule I never dwell on a topic for more than five minutes. Some would tend to disagree, but I am referring to the thought process and not the associated mood. Why must everything be as insanely not right as it is, and why must it always be this tragically desperate?

Its highly annoying if the moment you solve one problem, another crops up instantly, and before you know it, the whole field is full of problems which have popped up like mushrooms. I love mushrooms. I, however, detest problems.

It like the moment you think you have nailed it, the 'it' is gone. whooosh :|

Random

2010-01-04T22:31:00.002+07:00

Places and faces

2010-01-04T14:09:00.000+07:00

Winter dew and Old stone

2009-12-27T22:02:00.006+07:00

Here and there

2009-12-20T13:05:00.002+07:00

Sunshine ...

2009-12-20T00:42:00.006+07:00

Portraits

2009-12-07T17:40:00.004+07:00

Humayun's tomb

2009-12-07T17:24:00.003+07:00

Lunch time bytes

2009-11-26T23:20:00.002+07:00

You see its nice to have some 'normal' chance conversations over fish and mushrooms, and its nicer to have these conversations with Binny. She is without doubt the only person capable of coming up with these gems.

We have stopped speaking, sleeping and indulging in other such mundane activities due to the phenomenal amount of work we seem to have. Here's a routine dialogue between Binny, Abhinav and the moi...

Binny: (ending yet another joke that I failed to comprehend, please get in touch with her for details) ... Because beggars can't be chooosaahs
Aruni: (vacated the table temporarily having heard the joke once... twice would be irksome)
Abhinav: (the guy is hell bent on making the joke longer... and wants to grasp the basic nitty gritties of it)
Binny: I was not born in my previous lives. My soul is pure, and this is my first life. I have been sent here to test my patience.
Aruni: You mean you have been sent here to test everyone's patience.
Abhinav: I was busy being too nice... buts that what I wanted to say.

That's a small gist of mad lunch with Binny... and now back to work.
More on hundred winks diaries later... tbc

PS: I didn't quote all of the conversation... that would be stupid, Binny please don't jump the gun and ask me to set a context.
PPS: The signs are but obvious.

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works

2009-10-29T22:47:00.002+07:00

It's been a while since I cribbed to my heart's content, and it's not because life is perfect, or Murphy has ceased to influence the less than perfect world of mine. Murphy still remains the shining star influencing my charts. Everything that can go wrong is going wrong, and then there are... the idiots!

Either the general IQ of the human race has been plummeting, or I was clearly fooled into coming to this place by some god like creature. I have a strange feeling that its the latter. One day I am going to meet the person who is writing, directing and editing this chaotic piece, and ask him, "Dude! What the fuck were you thinking!."
I mean the script is just all over the place!

Have to admit though, the characters are brilliant.
Well most of them!

Elements (part 1)

2009-10-12T00:28:00.009+07:00

Houston we have a problem

2009-09-29T23:50:00.002+07:00

ProLogue: You know what they say right? Life's crazy and all that! But at most times one tends to dismiss this as an over rated exaggeration. Well read on...

Viewpoint: Balcony (I am blessed with brilliant balconies!)

1600 hours, Monkey hijacks para substation, consequently tripping off a phase and sinking the entire para in darkness. There are electricians inside the place who can't come out and fix the line, and no one will dare go near the place coz of monkey mania.

1630 hours, People are now aware of the enormousness of the situation. The monkeys know that they have created this mayhem, and they are enjoying every bit of the spotlight.

Everyone else is screaming and voicing their opinions, and of course no one has a solution. Expert opinions on the present situation:

'Those monkeys were placed by Trinmool union' (may be)

'Those monkeys were placed by CPM' (definitely possible)

'Those monkey are CPM' (oh cmon! they are wayy too cool - the monkeys!)

'Get bananas' (as if)

Well you get the gist of it, everyone knows the problem, everyone is yelling, and no one knows what to do about it.

1645 hours, Reinforcements are here, all para dadas have arrived with sticks, stones and one with red crackers. Red crackers made monkey go weeeeeeeeee (literally) and now they have started throwing stones at the substation. Pandemonium reigns.

1700 hours, Durga idol is to be carried away, and a huge procession with full dhak arrives with more confusion. Dhaks keep playing, the people who don't know are still dancing, and the people who do know proceed to join in the screaming. The monkey has clearly emerged as the star of the day.

And they obviously had a very clear idea of what they were doing, they didn't want bananas. Their kid was stuck in the well behind the sub station, and the moment they found him they took off, without telling any one. That was the clincher of the whole act, there were people on the road trying to vanquish monkeys that weren't there.

Sometime later: My brother followed up monkey act by letting water all over the room, and putting pepper in my tea. Inspired by the monkeys we chased him around with a pipe and let the tap on, happiness was here :D

After sufficient amount of screaming and glaring from mom (but of course) we pretended to be normal for sometime. At least the monkeys got bananas for their effort!

Last heard from mayhem spot: I had a doze of green chillis hidden in my dal, and my brother is about to wake up with tooth paste face ;P

Epilogue: Life is crazy

over and out

20 years or so

2009-09-05T00:19:00.000+07:00

twenty years or so its been

since she began to walk

little steps she took in a world

where she was meant to be

she saw her life in rhymes of lore

she spoke the words of stars and moon

danced on seas and streams

she looked for hidden paths in them

rainbows and moonbeams

white flowers and gold

put them in a basket she made of ole

painted the world in blue and green

she shut the door on the world she had seen

twenty years or so its been

they called her out, she wouldn't come

she hid there behind the sun

grey it seemed in other lands

but she ran with joy on hidden paths

dark was the sky on a winters day

when hidden doors fell away

the land fell though and left the sea

she walked away through paths to be

twenty years or so its been

since she saw the world again

she paints it in her blue and green

while hidden doors are locked away

A dialogue...

2009-08-23T14:24:00.002+07:00

Eternal Sunshine

Drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you ( and believe me, it is)
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy?
these mishaps
you bubble wrap (break em' bubbles!)
when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for?
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown (more than you can handle)
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

Deep blue sea

I am all in
Lets go bag pack across the hills and rivers out there
In cities of people so merry and see lives of others
Lets see dawn from the window in the east
and then we can watch the stars together you and I
by some cosy rosy hearth
Lets see the joys of sun and plays of the moon
lets go dancing on the sea and singing with the bee
I am leaving my things behind but what of those
that remain behind

Do I not see them when I close my eyes
Do I not hear them when I have left the world
Do I not feel them when I am alone

Fear is there, but what of it
Its a small bug which the smile will stamp
I will live through it
For within me I know that Avalon is not here within
But there without

I will find it and there I will meet you once again by the hearth
And over a cup of ale, my love, we shall tell of our tales.

Are you in or out!

2009-08-21T01:11:00.002+07:00

Disclaimer: All puns are intended. The article is a mere observation and nothing more.

Groundrules first! If you think you are too 'hep and cool' please do not bother to read this... this is sooo not for you! Like totally out of your league, if you know what I mean.

It’s a matter of deep philosophical importance. These are questions that will decide the moral fiber of our age – the age of seeming chaos… and once you know the answer, you shall be considered among the wise, whose knowledge shall be like a beacon to mankind leading us forth into nirvana.

Now that you are absolutely convinced that I am about to embark upon an intense philosophical debate in my erstwhile non sensical chronicles, which of course was a stupid mistake, let me be a tad bit more specific. You are doomed, and allow me to repeat myself, you are DOOMED, if you indulge in any of the following activities:

1) You talk funny (blabber your head off, talk about random facts, talk geeky, and talk like you are a flower girl in the fields of wonderland!) And please don’t even bother with the ‘I speak nothing but the truth’ bullshit.

2) If you bought the t shirt you are wearing from Garia hatar mor, or Chowpatty or Sarojini… I mean ‘How could you!’ Did you know they are about to include this in one of the sins?

3) You have more than one oddity… as of now it’s okay to have one oddity. Definition of oddity - You are weird. (If you expected something more constructive, boo hoo! Go do you own research!)

You are doomed, ye Children of a doomer god… run for your lives from the grand monster of ‘in crowd.’ May the Gods protect you from their chief weapon – boredom, may you still prevail and enrich our lives.

Don't you know about the new fashion honey?
All you need are looks and a whole lotta money.
It's the next phase, new wave, dance craze, anyways
It's still rock & roll to me.
Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound
Funny, but it's still rock and roll to me

(Billy Joel)

Life's hiding somewhere

2009-06-24T21:47:00.004+07:00

There is always a hidden secret in every moment in life. A tiny revelation embedded in the fabric of life, in the distant glance of a friend, in the open inquisitive glare of a child or the bemused questioning look of the stranger. There is always a moment that goes by where you learn more than what an eternity in a dingy classroom could teach.

They say they want to attain eternal bliss – a state of nirvana. Do they not know the delightful possibilities of eternity in the moment? It’s not achieved through some detachment from the materialistic world and people, or through cutting off desires. Living every moment by loving your work, learning, perfecting and yearning for more knowledge. By being ruthlessly honest and acknowledging every truth life chooses to throw, for within that truth lies the clue to the next level. By loving this life so much, that you know it’s worth it when a black hole of sorrow appears. By travelling from the dark side of the moon to the blazing golden light beyond, because you know that you are meant to be there, and these are just mere aberrations in the field of life.

The critical problem is not the lack of knowledge, but the denial of wisdom and the seemingly short span of attention to such details.

Dance on the Border

2009-03-02T21:59:00.004+07:00

So here's the deal. I am becoming obsessed with work, overworking and making sure that I have no life outside the work. Its a critical issue, and the diagnosis is not clear yet. So I needed a break, till I figured out where I can get a life. Hence, I went to Amritsar, with the esteemed members of the Hundred Winks Club, the Malik sisters (Parul and Priyanka) and Jyotika.

Breaking News. We all arrived at the station on time. The train was an hour late so that didn't matter much. We went off to the nearby cafe to celebrate Priyanka's birthday (I really wish she was my sis, she is incredibly nice,) where weird wannabe chaplin man made Binny go all flutter. Finally we boarded the train, and this time it was Jyotika's turn to reflect upon the pristine condition of the sleeper class compartment. Madame logon ko A.C. mein jaana tha! Now comes the classic Binny comment.

Binny: Aruni, do you want to upgrade? (She wanted to ask me whether I want to upgrade to A.C.)
Me : Umm What you thought I was the beta version!
Mae: Hundred Winks for that ;)

Typically, I froze to death in the train, because I had no idea it was going to be so cold. While everyone slept, I gave company to the three mice - the only non sleeping fellow passengers I had.

Throughout the trip I was enamored by the picturesque countryside. I had heard a lot about green fields and the yellow mustards, coz you see like millions of others, I have seen DDLJ. But its something one should see at least once, to know the true meaning of solace. Little gold stars over seas of green, and a blue sky. I wish I could paint, the scenery demands an impressionist canvass by Van Gogh or Cezanne. But since I can't, I shall stop the pseudo wistfulness now!

We met a jolly Santa uncle over there, who took us all over the place, including a dhaba which served the bestest chicken ever! Oh... forgot to mention, we danced on the Wagah border. All of us including Binny! She takes a million years to agree to dance usually, but she danced like a mad woman coz, she was ten meters away from the border. And to top it all, she did a brilliant impression of me in the train. I was almost flattered by the impression. Oh cmon! You have to be a superstar to have that good an imposter!

Feeling the Moment Slip Away

2009-03-01T23:21:00.006+07:00

The last time I was in a train with the esteemed members of the Hundred Winks Club life was different and it all seems like ancient history. Its like time flies on, and you are constantly running to catch up... and you look back thinking 'once upon a time.' As I hung out of the train, the cool wind hit my face, and for some inexplicable reason the pieces of my life flashed before my eyes juxtaposed against the night sky. Faces, smiles, eyes, emotions.

They were just flashes, with no particular feeling attached to them, not even those of nostalgia। I guess the process of detachment is coming a full cycle. I am increasingly finding it hard to disconnect emotions from the numbness. I suppose the moment has slipped away and you can't feel it anymore.

The importance of bullshitting

2009-02-23T23:48:00.005+07:00

This post is dedicated to Binny Malik, and the many unsung heroes of that fabulous art of bullshitting. I really wanted to dedicate it to Maryann, but she refuses to be the champion of anything but chronic neck pain.

Now let me explain the purpose of this post, and before you roll your eyes, let me confirm that there is one. Now think of all the rough situations you have been in life, all the times when you were facing a question to which you didn't know the answer, a dilemma which had no escape, a moral compromise which could have been avoided or a mistake without an excuse. Now think of the only thing that saved you from the clutches of that blasted killjoy - the conscience or your mom's glare - bullshit! Bullshit that fetched you a four instead of a zero in your answer, and bullshit that made you feel better about yourself when you knew you were doing the wrong thing.

Now someone once told me that if you can't bedazzle them with brilliance, then befuddle them with bullshit. I won't go to the extent of saying that I am well acquainted with this art, but I am a dedicated student. You see, once I can master this noble art, life would simply be easier to deal with, and the loopholes will be easier to figure (refer to previous post.) So as a student, I questioned a few of my contemporaries on the usefulness of bullshitting.

Maryann: Amusement. Its good for the soil. I mean you want to pull your hair out of their skull. Bullshit brings sanity into our lives and neutralizes the shittiness of it all. Its like a catalyst.

Binny: (after putting a considerable amount of thought into what was obviously the question of the century!)Its a very good exercise, when someone bullshits in front of you:
A) you roll ur eyes
B) you want to slap that person
It also completes the cycle of foodchain and excretion. Bullshit is consumed by detrivorous microbes that feed on shit. This shit is already on the ground and acts as a manure to plants. The plants by the act of photosynthesis, open and close their stomata to produce food. This food is consumed by bulls who shit.

*** Don't bother to ask me what this means, if you want an explanation, Binny can draw a chart for you.

Tulika: Its a talent, with which very few people are gifted with, and very essential in life. (ummm I was hoping for a less page 3 ish response... she is going to kill mme for saying this... my gawd i am still typing!)

Deepesh: I refrain from such kind of activities. (Oh btw he is the guy who invented the wireless mouse USB device!)

The baap of all bullshitters: The importance of bullshitting is that you get to say exactly what you want to say in the garb of wit. It's an assertion of independence from conformity and ass kissing, it is almost a political statement of individuality and personal rebellion.

Here's a bullshitter's take on idiots:

1. Idiots: That beautiful group of people that make living life worthwhile.If it weren't for idiots,life would be extremely boring not to mention there would be practically none of us left! But the most delightful aspect of idiots(and believe me there are quite a few) is their fascinating tendency to try cover up their being idiots by being bigger idiots.Unfortunately,the problem is if you try cover up bullshit with more bullshit all you really get is a big pile of bullshit that stinks(literally.)But i guess shit is good for the soil right? And that's what idiots do...they enrich the soil which grows more produce which feeds more bulls which leads to more bullshit and the cycle continues.That's the beauty of idiots.They are a renewable source of energy.As long as there are people, there will always be idiots. Fuck hydrogen, we got the ultimate renewable source of energy here! If only some scientist would try harness the infinite potential of this characteristic of humans that makes us the superior species we are.Being idiots is what separates us from the animals!By the way... in case you're confused... I am an idiot too!

Loopholes?

2009-02-18T17:33:00.006+07:00

Long long time ago, a froody sort of a fellow had advised that I should read up on the Chaos theory and the Lorenz Attractor to get a better insight into my life. I had dismissed this as a one of those sarcastic comments meant to show off the speaker's knowledge and demean the receiver. Four years down the line, the comment makes much more sense than it did at the time. Its like I have been on a prolonged date with chaos, and we don't even break up!

Trust me. I am not exaggerating. The impertinence of my luck is borderline amusing, and I say borderline coz my so called sense of humor is being tested to maximum capacity. Grrrr. And as I begin to study both these theories, I understand the original implications of my good ole friend. The parallels make Murphy look like a positively optimistic and chirpy chap. Anyway lets not go into the details of the events. Details and facts are superficial.

It is a said that every problem has a solution (hallelujah!) and every solution breeds another problem (fadavada!)

It is also said that every theory has loopholes. I am trying to find the loopholes in this one! And once I do that... Its JACKPOT ;)

Exagerrated Blabberations of the Hundred Winks Club

2009-02-15T23:35:00.004+07:00

Ok so think of the last time you laughed a lot! No seriously I mean a lot. Then multiply it by the number of stars in the Betelgeuse star system (there are lots.) There you have it... you have arrived at the exact magnitude of mad cracking up I am referring to, if you do not believe me, then you are an idiot or a Manchester
United fan! Its okay! We understand and appreciate the lack of grey matter.

That was the opening statement. Binny seems to think that it is exaggerated. I say that's the point!
Calling to motion the first ever meeting of the Hundred Winks Club.
Members: Aruni (I exaggerate)
Binny (I don't know)
Maryann (the blue sky looks nice)
These are our solemn vows as we initiate this journey into the unknown.

Agenda: Life as an overwhelming exposure to the extremes of hyper emotion. The omnipresence of the mindfuck factor in this multi cast superhit potboiler, with very occasional special guest appearance of genuinely interesting/pleasant people. (This point is to be debated, because as Binny points out, just because she doesn't like them, doesn't make them less interesting. I am clearly not that open minded, if I don't like them, I find them boring. Maryann just called us bada aunty and chota aunty, and then called herself Madhuri Dixit.

She is forgiven for doing so, I can drive my self insane just by being me... so her outbursts are justified, and I would empathize with her if I was in the mood to do so. I refrain from speaking for Binny, every time I do that, I feel like chewing my head off, because I get a long winded essay about how I am wrong. More often than not we arrive at the point where we started because we were pseudo arguing about the same bloody point! We are still unsure as to why Maryann would refer to herself as Madhuri Dixit. Its a mystery. Maybe we will never know.

Anyway, coming back to where we were before I went off track and took a hike some place else (umm that would be nowhere,) you see it was becoming increasingly necessary to document the phenomenal pieces of conversation that where taking place in the warmly lit room of C 139 National Apartment. If one were to compile these comments in a book, I swear to the Gods above, you would get an amusing read, and a very insightful view of that phenomenon which we mere mortals refer to as life. So as Atlas once took the world upon his worthy shoulders, I have taken this task upon myself. To document history as it is being made, over cups of tea, and a couple of cigarettes (both mine.)

Weekends Don't Last!

2009-02-15T22:35:00.004+07:00

You know I have been thinking about this for quite some time. The way we tend to react to people and situations, apparently it makes us the people we are. Kind of a vicious cycle isn't it. Coz to me it seems that our actions are guided by the kind of people we are... and then we go ahead and say it the other way round. Chicken/Egg! Good god I am blabbering again!

Anyway chuck that. Have been reading Marquez's Living to Tell the Tale off late. Its an autobiographical work based on his own experiences and the early years of his journey as an author. I was almost compelled to compare it to Of Human Bondage, but I am beginning to like this book even more than the famed Hundred Years of Solitude. Love the vivid language which he uses to describe his experiences and the amazing landscapes he paints with his words. OOPS! Pseudo Alert!

Really wanted to watch DevD. Then I realized that all the people I was going to watch it with have already watched it, and I didn't go with them coz I was cleaning the bloody house. What's more! As if it wasn't bad enough that this sucked... the buggers are reminding me at every opportune moment that its a brilliant movie! I know that so stop biting my head off!

I think I am becoming a workaholic. Seriously! Binny thinks I am going to get married to retention and have kids called Retention A and B. That's a scary thought, but its understandable coming from her, she saw me doing research on this and running reports at 10:30 and then freaked out.

Had a great weekend though... Nehallloooo finally gave us his birthday treat on Vday. He actually had 5 dates... Went to Karim's for a meal, wish could have walked through those roads. They reminded me of good ole times, Jamnagar Road, Ruchir's house, Goldflake cigarettes, Vien, and Faisal's changrami! Then went to Hanuman temple at midnight... Don't bother to ask.

I wish Monday was a holiday.

Boredom Blues!

2009-02-11T22:31:00.003+07:00

I am bored. No I really am. I hate talking to most people I know, they are boring, trite and speak utter crap. The moment I see them looming on the horizons, I thank my Gods for the existence of my mp3 player. The importance of this particular gadget reemphasizes itself almost everyday of my life. After all I can't resort to walking with a book in my hand! Going by track record, its extremely likely that I will fall.

Ofcourse this is only during times, when I actually have time to get bored, which is again a rare occasion. TOO MUCH WORK! But during the occasional glimpses of the world outside my work, books and the headphones, basically the world outside my own head, I wonder at the utter lack of good people. There are prototypes of people all over the place. The wannabees cool ones, the wannabee loners, the idiots, the irritating chirp heads, the holistically fake ones, and the crazy weird heads who can't make up their heads about any goddamn thing. Where do these people come from and what world do they live in? The answer itself is worth a research, and can form a book which will be an amusing read, even if no one would print it!

Another blessing in disguise is the fact that the only people I can have any sort of conversation with are my room mates – and I mean any sort of conversations, the crazy blabbering ones and the crazy intense ones. The problem is that very soon we will get sick of each other. We almost spend every minute of our freaking lives with each other. The only distraction outside the group is of course Nehal, who by default is a member of our house, and the occasional interactions with the amazing yaya twins. Thank god for you people!

Hey its my blog! I can crib on it!

Look forward to the next article: Exaggerated Blabberations of the Hundred Winks Club :)

Lost... somewhere between heaven and hell.

2008-12-15T11:20:00.003+07:00

Trip to heaven and hell (part 1)

Its 6:05. Our train leaves in precisely ten minutes. Up till minutes ago we were trying to figure out if we were heading towards right station. We, that would be Maryann
(who is praying with beads in her hand,) Abhinav (who is at least visibly nonchalant,) and yours truly (I am slightly less freaked, I have been to a station and known that the train left a day earlier!) are sprinting across the station to get into the hallowed train. This is the time for classic Binny comment... she is by herself, lost in this godforsaken station.

Abhinav: Binny keep your eyes out for the train.

Binny: Where do I keep my eyes? on my hand?

Abhinav: No keep your eyes in your head.

Yes. This is what set the tone for the endless cracked up jokes, and mad laughter. While we are used to this particular style of living, I was unsure as to whether Mr. Higgins was up to the task. The events that followed proved him to be worthy of being a national apartmentaite! which is an achievement of course! So now we finally boarded the train exactly three minutes before it left, and Maryann realized, to her utter dismay, that Indian trains are dirty. Eureka! I froze to death in the train, and that is no exaggeration. After a sleepless, cold, miserable night, I was beginning to wonder whether this trip was actually worth it... and then to convince me that this was a great idea... our train starts running late! We reach Benaras three hours late, and we congratulate ourselves on a great job done, we had planned this trip last September. Talk about great time around time.

The first thing that hits you about Benaras is its antiquity. A city which has been there for the last 2000 years. The small gallis immortalized in Ray's Aparajito, are lined with buildings that have seen time pass it by and tales of several lives. We walk through several of these gallis to reach the guest house, which turned out to be a small comfi bungalow on the ghat. This is the part in the film where things start going right :)

I spent a considerable fraction of this trip sitting on the balcony, looking at the ghat and the Ganga, and procrastinating about life over several gallons of tea, and cigarettes. There was a method to the process, and I have finally arrived at the conclusion that I am driving myself nuts. I really need a break from being me! There are two ways to achieve this, either stop being me, or go into my own sweet comfortably warm and numb world. Since the first one is both improbable and impossible, I think the second one will be the route to peace. More on that later. I promise this was the only boring para in this lay. No scope for boredom, henceforth.

I had wanted to go back to Benaras for a long time. I am yet to understand what draws me to that place. Its not exactly an ideal holiday destination, and the place has way too much of filth for my liking. But something about the faith thats held in that place is overwhelming. Its a cradle of civilization, everyday people come here to get rid of their sins in its many temples and the River, and then go back to committing the same sins in their lives.

We unpacked at the guest house and freshened up, during which Abhinav realized that this was his opportunity to get lots of pics with his fellow passengers, three ladies! His luck I tell you! He also sees some hot (Humpacious is the adjective he crafted later for the purpose) firangi chick, and promptly wears his glares, so that he can stare without being glared at! I later discovered that the best way to get him to concede a point in an argument, is to ensure that there is a 'Humpacious' female in his line of vision, he promptly fumbled up, and gave in.

After making a round of the temples by the ghat, we got to see the arati on ghats of the River. Beads of light flowing on the river, each diya attached to a person's hopes, and prayers. I saw mine sail away with my dreams engulfed in its rays, a distant light on the water. To be continued...

42

2008-09-23T15:15:00.000+07:00

42 – Pieces of a diary.

Much has been said about life, the universe and everything. But not enough. The answer may be something as simple as 42, and we haven’t for sure figured out the question as yet. Well ‘we’ is a complex concept, so we will stick to the realms of ‘I’. I don’t know what we think about it (42), or whether we think at all. I cannot claim intellectual superiority over ‘we’, and say that we don’t care or think. That would be sheer arrogance and wistfulness.

Thoughts have taken precedence in my life, over every other thing. Every single strand of it, form a collage in a fabric that surrounds my world. A place that wipes out all the inconsequential and trivial pains in life. It’s like a shelter, a home and a warm blanket on a cold frosty night.

‘Its simple’ was the motto of my childhood and through the years of my adolescence I clung to it, as if it was my anchor to sanity. I don’t like the complex, or may be I don’t want to, or maybe I am just unable to comprehend it. Does that make mere survival a bit more difficult? I really don’t want an answer to that question. Call it denial if you will.

The basic definition of the occasional diary is to maintain a record of the events in one’s life. The fact that I have chosen to ignore these events, reiterates something that has always amused me to no end. For a person who gives the impression of being passionate, I am surprisingly indifferent to most things in life. Yes the occasional snapping does occur, but otherwise it’s pretty much a plateau. Of course this does have its positive effects.

The ironies of life never fail to amuse me in retrospect. The wisdom to acknowledge them on the spot in ground Zero has not been bestowed upon me. There was a time when these instances of divine sense of humor evoked emotions of agony and ecstasy in me. Now it’s become a mere shrug or a smirk. I guess I am tired of knowing at times, tired of feeling at times. Off late I have been so exhausted that the proverbial kaleidoscope in my mind has become a blank screen. I hate blank screens.

It all started a long time back. I guess we all want a Jesus, so that we can make a martyr out of him, and crucify him, and then weep about it. The very fabric of time is constructed of ironies such as this. You walk up to him, and you want to tell him about all that you know, and all that you feel and all that you love. He disappears in a whiff of smoke, and you realize that it was never real, and you wonder at the blasted sense of irony in the whole thing, because he never existed in the real world. He was a part of the fabric of collage. The collage that was my ode to 42, the collage that was my home of content. The collage that did not protect me but shattered me to pieces. Pieces of a puzzle with which I shall continue this masterpiece. Was it even necessary? Yes, as much as it pained, in spite of the moments of unbearable and stifled screams, during which the world upon my shoulders bruised and battered me to the ground, I wanted to pick myself up from the mundane. The theme of this collage is not anguish. The theme is that of joy which beats down the rest and carves out paths of its own. I believe in God as the creator of all around, and the triumph of joy over all else in his creations.

So what am I doing now? Am I looking for a light to show the way to some divine knowledge. The question is deceptively difficult to answer. I don’t want answers that are not in the absolute, so may be I am not looking for any answers. I don’t like the non absolute, because it’s beyond my understanding. His disappearance shattered me not only because it was a moment of unavoidable comprehension, but because I had sought to believe in the non absolute. I had disappointed myself more than circumstances had.

10/08/2008

collage

2007-09-18T12:34:00.000+07:00

agra trip

2007-09-03T19:00:00.000+07:00

Went to Agra last week. I wish I had my own camera with me. Would have loved to take more pics.

Buland Darwaza

First View

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Fellow Googlers Binny and Katleen

Jumma Musjid

2007-04-17T00:48:00.000+07:00

snapshots-goa

2006-05-15T14:03:00.000+07:00

well i have gone beyond the borders of conventional laziness and entered realms of 'no work'.i sleep, i read. i listen to music and i sleep.occasionally i read for academic benefit. presently though i am rereading The Lord of the Rings.ignore the lack of punctuation

a brand new year!

2006-01-07T21:00:00.000+07:00

Well couldn't go with friends to Haldia to celebrate new years, but made up for it through a whole lotta wine and mushrooms. 2005 almost became a saga of unfortunate events, a series of overdramatic moments with an overdose of action. Hopefully this year will be better.
New Years Resolutions: To not get involved in any potentially volatile situation. Stay far far away. (advice from a friend)

crazy!

2005-12-11T13:10:00.000+07:00

Life’s crazy! Well that’s not a philosophical or insightful statement. It’s just an observation. Thingz are going haywire...CrsAm has gone crazy too... he has become utterly presumptuous regarding what he refers to as my love life (?!) and he thinks seahorses are sweet. (Understand implications) alist has metamorphisized into turner, Tina turner. Psi has taken to expressing utter hatred for fellow human beings... 'Told u so' has got a new brown leather jacket and has become the Marlon Brando of the class, and her claims to be Nostradamus has been apparently justified. Evil VP is back, which means more boring socio lectures for us. this is one subject that I just don’t get, what’s worse is that I don’t really care, which is not good news from an academic point of view... jazz pianist is angry on seahorse and monkey boy managed to force me to have 15 chewing gums at a time. others are either talking in accents which I don’t want to understand or are not talking at all...and well that’s not it...

The professor I liked the most in my dept has resigned…what’s worse is that he ran away with my Harry Potter – The Half Blood Prince. Well one of my feminist ex-bosses has come to teach in his place…well she is actually good. And yes I left my feminist job. With all due respects, it just wasn’t my thing.

As for me I have taken to rereading all the books I have read. I finished reading Fountainhead (again) and then read The Goblet of Fire. I had to; the movie completely murdered the book. My comps gone berserk; producing strange sound effects.

And I have taken to ignoring everybody by with help of my mp3 player. I am addicted to those headphones. But I love winters, everything’s so beautiful. The sun is warm, the weather is beautiful, the sky is blue and I love my room. Though I suspect that doped out guitarist and company left a ghost in there. I am loving it.

my god i am lazy

2005-10-30T20:44:00.000+07:00

Ok this is absolutely not done. About three months ago I decided I would blog regularly. But as it turned out I didn’t do so, various factors influenced it...I was too busy or caught up or lazy or just not in the mood for it.
But the last three months have been incomprehensibly chaotic. First I got beaten up by the vice principal, and then the vc resigned. (about this much has been said so I will keep shut), then there wren my exams and my result and on top of that my students...one of them tried to come up with a theory with which he can add by just doing subtraction....he is only 12.pure genius I say. then I went to goa sounds clichéd but the place is paradise. it’s beautiful. plus I learned how to make bloody mary and goan fish curry.unfortunatly can’t put the pics on this time but definatly do so next time.oh yeah on the way I fainted in the train.....due to a zarda overdose. people freaked out and somebody thought I was dead. my brother managed to submerge the hotel room under foam n water. my parents managed to forget when the return ticket was in Bombay, we came to know the exact time of departure exactly 4hrs before the train...umm...we packed in exactly 3 hrs.
it was good to go back to Bombay...and meet old friends. but I realized something this time around. for some strange reason I am more fond of cal now then of Bombay. this was rather unexpected. I have stayed in Bombay for ten years...I was really surprised. well more on that later.
I came back and found myself wielding a jharu and beating up a Sicilian amol in alist and gairik's film. apparently I am the half Sicilian half Bengali witch aunt of hari puttar! ask my directors I am a brilliant actor. my brilliance almost forced one of them shoots himself with thermocol cartridge.
and now I am working in a feminist organization. More on these developments later...for now I was tagged by alist to do the following:

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. become a journo.
2. become a photographer.
3. go to egypt, peru, turkey, malaysia, cambodia, kenya, and some other places.
4. learn how to cook parsi and lebannese food.
5. for god's sake finally play the guitar...
6. make a couple of documentry films.
7. beat up ashwini.

7 things I can do:
i can be a geek.
i can be very lazy.
i am arrogant at times and at the same time uniquely low on confidence.
i can be very stubborn.
i can have accidents....things happen to me always. i am jinxed.
i can be very narrow minded.
i am nice person.
i am stupid
apparently i have no guts.
i am a lot more than that. but i am tired of typing.

7 things I can't do:
1. be unjust to pple.
2. be rude or mean to pple.
3. be less loud.
4. be more calm & assertive.
5. i cant play the guitar
6. despite all allegations i cant write poetry
7. i cant avoid my consciousness

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
intelligence, personality, wit and attitude. need to respect the guy. nothing more.

7 things that I say most often:
wat the fuck!
what bloody rot!
gudum gadam
and loads of other stupid thingies.

7 celebrity crushes:
wat the hell is this!
okay....
bono
sting
aamir khan
denzel washington
johny depp
al pacino
steve waugh

thank god thats over. i am not tagging neone.

bored!

2005-07-11T02:12:00.000+07:00

I am bored. Out of my freaking wits. Trust me. Well at least college has reopened. I swear I have nothing to do. I mean yeah, I do all those things like going to college…. which frankly, is driving me nuts…. I mean throughout my vacations I was going crazy waiting for college to reopen…. and now that it has finally reopened I am beginning to find it at times quite boring and dull. Of course my H.O.D. will be back within a week…and that wouldn’t exactly brighten up our lives… and then of course I hang out with friends… but again I have fallen victim to those blasted mood swings. I am pissed off with either my boredom or with the people who contribute to it…
And then I read. I am reading ‘hitchhikers guide to the galaxy’ now. I thank god, Douglas Adams and the guy who lend it to me for the brief moments of lapses in my absolute boredom. Yeah off late I have inculcated a habit of reading more than one book at a time. I guess I am becoming ‘geekier’ by the day. So I am also reading ‘the night of January 16th’ by ayn rand – my favorite author. Typical rand. Philosophical. Practical. But uncharacteristically tragic.
And I listen to music. And study occasionally. Obviously I try and keep that a secret. I don’t wish to enhance my geeky ‘image’ any further. Oh yeah I forgot. I teach three kids. Not much of a trouble. I mysteriously get along well with kids. They usually display a perfect blend of mischievousness, intelligence, sincerity and innocence, which you hardly see in them goddamned grown-ups. In any case its not much of a trouble and pays well.
So u might say that I have quite a lot to do. Its just that…. life is not very eventful.
I NEED TO DO SOMETHING.
Ps: some people have been extremely kind to me. Treated me in the wake of my bad mood to mud pie (trust me its delicious) and cappuccino at flurrys and even coffee at CCD. Ahem…thank you.

be right back

2005-06-29T18:11:00.000+07:00

Be right back….

Okay I have spent the last two weeks wondering which is worse: high fever accompanied by a bad cough n cold or sheer boredom accompanied by a complete lack of creativity and wits. Y was I pondering between the devil and the deep sea…. because I have been fortunate enough to enjoy the magnificent company of both over the past month. What made their acquaintance all the more special was the fact that I happened to be in my vacations! Vacations that came just after my exams…the stupendous timing of the whole goddamned fiasco just stumps me! And now that I am at the end of the vacations…I have an overload of work which I am supposed to make up on…. and I am still reeling under the effects of a bad chest cold…. but lets just try to see the bigger picture…you know that whole try to be positive thing…. Well my guitar string snapped and my best friend was supposed to come to town….but she couldn’t…..well I guess I can do better.
So here goes…it finally started raining and trust me in this part of the world that’s breaking news. Rains somehow bring out the best in the world. The sky looks like riot of the most brilliant and rich colours…. shades of blue at once u would see azure blue, dark hues of grey and black and add to that the standard reds and purples. Quite fascinating. Everyday the sky looks like a different painting on the walls of a huge gallery… and obviously u try n figure out the different shapes of clouds. The world looks all the more greener. Always been very fortunate to live in an area where there are lots of trees and fields. One has to see to believe it…. a single tree having leaves of at least 10 different shades of green… ranging from lemon yellow to dark grayish green… a perfect work of art. I say art because in a painting to give it a 3-d realistic perspective, the artist always applies more than 3 shades. But nothing looks as stunning as the sea during the monsoons. The sea looks like a huge black polka dotted blanket, and every time you see it confounds you coz it manages look grave, beautiful, dark, mysterious, simple, thoughtful all at the same time.
You feel as if you could go on writing as u stare outside through the window… but u just don’t have the words.

Brb………

random thoughts

2005-04-19T18:03:00.000+07:00

Well just suppose that you go out for a walk…and then all of a sudden you look back and you see that the road you walked on has just disappeared. There is nothing just empty black road and then u look ahead, trying to remind yourself that the road is left behind you…. but you cant really get over the fact that u won’t be walking the same path again…that all those gallis and nukkads are gone and you cant go past them again. That somehow the faces you saw then are not even around and the thoughts you had, the dreams you dreamed, and the jokes you laughed at have all just disappeared, but unfortunately all the tears have remained…and the you look ahead with well lets just call it hope … and a lurking fear that someday that the road to be traveled is going to disappear one day. One day I will turn back and it will all disappear….
The child is gone
The dream is gone.

wats playing......

2005-04-08T00:12:00.000+07:00

A mug of coffee, my window and u2 playing on the comp… its amazing how music can translate all your thoughts, all your emotions. Sometimes it becomes tough to express all your emotions even to yourself…forget the outside world, and such times the voice over the comp tells u exactly how u feel and u sigh n say, “that’s just the way it is.” It’s quite amazing n overwhelmingly simple…. here u r sitting by the window feeling detached from the whole world… asking all the questions… mostly the whys… n u have bono howling away…
“If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If i could, yes i would
If i could, i would
Let it go
Surrender
Dislocate
If i could throw this
Lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay
See you walk, walk away
Into the night
And through the rain
Into the half-light
And through the flame
If i could through myself
Set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day
To let it go
And so to fade away
To let it go
And so fade away”
And then when all the answers are staring at you right in your face you just say, “ I still haven’t found what I am looking for.”
Who’s to know where the wind will take you
Who’s to say what it is that will break you
I don’t know which way the wind will blow………
Ofcourse the more elaborate example would point towards every boring meaningless lecture you have ever had to attend, in my case sociology and you thank Gilmour and Roger Waters for singing:
“we don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! teachers! leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.”…..and ofcourse there are those times when you feel as if u r sitting inside a dark room, and u cant breathe n all the doors have no-exit sign on dem….wen u feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel…so u just phase out and say…
“There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but i can't hear what you're saying.
When i was a child i had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now i've got that feeling once again
I can't explain you would not understand
This is not how i am.
I have become comfortably numb”
but what the hell pull urself altogether and sing out loud, coz u kno thingz will be gr8,
“killing the past, coming back to life”
… And what exactly is a dream
And what exactly is a joke.

another random thought......

2005-03-18T19:46:00.000+07:00

Ships that sail in the night and speak to one another in passing
Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the dark
So on the ocean of life we pass and speak to one another
Only a look and a voice, depths of darkness that stare back….
And then just silence.....

Poles Apart

2005-03-16T01:15:00.000+07:00

This blog is in collaboration with http://dipika.blogspot.com
**Any resemblance with a person living is absolutely not coincidental and evidently intended. **
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boring bald headed professor: The violent economic crisis of poverty amidst of potential plenty…the mechanism of this chain towards the socialist mode of production is tension, conflict, revolution whether hidden or open…
Me: Nothing is absolute…except for boredom. Boredom, the universal concept. Zzzzz….
Guy (sitting behind me to a friend): see that girl in red over there. God! I love her. She is so cute…but can’t even speak to her.
Girl (sitting beside him to her friend): look at him! What a hunk!
Me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Some author in some other century before ours: You try to grasp the several hues of love…. but you cant. Just like trying to grasp sand with your hands…but there is only so much you can take.
When I look around me I realize that its true… love IS everywhere, I just have to reach out. I see my friends n college mates in love and I think to myself…this must be the most wonderful feeling. Love, that is purer than the dewdrops on the fresh green leaves, love that is sweeter than the scent of the wet earth after the first rains. Love that shines out in the face of the dark side of the moon like a blaze…. love that lights up the darkness like a candle. Beautiful, brilliant, serene, pure yet crazy and eccentric, madness………blah blah blah ahem…zzzzzzz… yawn.

After all what would humans be without love?………rare…very rare
Obviously this is precisely when I WAKE UP! from this somnambulistic dream (that’s what a sociology lecture does to you!) and say, “Yeah! Dude. GET REAL! (would love to say WHERE’S MY CAR? But cant…out of context) you must be kidding me! How banal and trite can people be? Of course now that I have fine-tuned my six strings... as def lepard said “LETS GET, LETS GET, LETS GET ROCKED!” Heyy don’t blame me I am just a kid who gatecrashes the party, chills back with a bear (tusker or buddie) and takes to the couch observing the others with a smack know-it-all grin. Trust me…. all those idiots you see running around telling you that they are in love and there will never be one like him/her in their lives…ahem of course they say the same about someone else the next day…its quite hilarious. All those popcorn type mushy movies you saw and thought who speaks like that??! They DO! And yes I have taken it upon my noble self to swear by the spirit of all the Rivervalley books I never read - that I along with my comrade shall tell you the tale of love…as it happens…when it happens, LIVE…from ground infinity.
All the analysis, all the facts, all the truth behind the facts. Right here. Discussion with special panel of experts too.
Yup. know it all, seen it all.
Someone’s watching. Always. Yes my brothers in arms or sisters for that matter…. you are not alone. The truth is out there.
So it goes…to be continued.
over n out

dialogue

2005-03-05T20:35:00.000+07:00

what made you think that you could run through life
without any bondage, without any debt, without any strife
did you not know, did you not think
life’s all about being on the other side of the brink
did nobody ever tell you after all
about the thorns on the road that would make you stall
about the tunnels with no light at the end
and the rules, which you cannot bend
you laugh, you cry, you think, you dream
don’t! lifes way too dark, way to grim
you are up against a wall, and no ones on your side
you cant even... should you choose to hide

what you said maybe true
but I beg to differ, I wish to dream and so I do
I wish to think, someone taught me once that
the mind didn’t come with a 'dont use it' tag
the wall, the thorns, the debts...that’s what lifes about?
they are all in your mind... just give them a thought
you talk about the moon and its dark side
but fail to see the light it tries to hide
I laugh, I cry, I think, I dream
its quite simple you know.... not that grim
I am alone, but that’s the way its supposed to be
why would I want anyone to help me be me......

random thoughts

2005-02-23T04:14:00.000+07:00

'Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide' - Pink Floyd
One my favourite Floyd lines reverberating in my head as I was on my way to college today, set the tone for the day somehow.

~ Saying that I am accident-prone would be conspicuously understating the obvious. Such are the tales of my various falls that I could write a whole book out of it…have thought of a name too - “The Chronicles of the Fall”. Well I do have better things to do in life so that book will have to wait. Now for a half-wit lunatic like me the perfect room will be the one, which is insulated from falls (a concept I will develop in the near future). But as cruel fate would have it, my room has way too many edges and furniture, which are placed, in precarious positions. What takes the cake (and probably the icing too) is the huge shelve right on top of my bed, whenever I get up in a hurry, I bump my goddamned head on the goddamned shelve. So I started off the day by ceremoniously bumping my head on goddamned shelve. The positive! side of me took that as a signal of thingz to come. Cursed my stupid fucked up luck and then looked gloomily towards the impending presentation. Oh yeah we had this presentation in which I was the speaker. What I was scared of was dat I might goof up during the thing and then get murdered by Dipika and metaphors. Oh yes Dipika, since it’s my blog I completely chose to ignore the fact that I brought it upon myself. Neway alls well that ends well. Presentation went well…. end of story.
~ Somehow these days one person or the other manages to bring a guitar to the college, which does trigger off a jamming session… sitting together with all your friends, having ice-cream (its HOT!) and singing gnr, floyd, deep purple and def lepard… makes u feel good!
~The ‘dialogues’ I have with my uncle are essentially help me to enhance my perspectives on life in general… now here we were discussing an issue of public transport when all of a sudden we were talking about hypocrisy and superficiality. As I stated thinking about it later, I figured out that one of the saddest aspects human nature is that we trivialize a lot. We have trivialized everything - love, joy, sorrow, pride, mind, beauty, soul, sight, sense, even GOD! Its as if we take a great sadistic pleasure in trivializing life itself. I guess I have done it too.
Consequently people have come to a stage, where they don’t even trust themselves forget others. Every second person turns out to be a superficial creep, a hypocrite. Just cant stand those bastards, can you? I guess the world can turn out to be even more horrific then it promised to be!
Of course at this time the chorus of the same song was playing on the comp…
The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
just random thoughts......

artistic impressions...

2005-02-18T01:52:00.000+07:00

If there is one word I have begun to utterly despise off late then it has to be the word ‘abstract’. My hatred for the word knows no bounds, and since I have managed to strike a fantastic balance between being pragmatic, analytical and idealistic, I more often than not end up fuming (screaming at the top of my voice would be more appropriate) at anyone who ventures to be impractical. My erratic behaviour at such times has left Dipika shrieking at the top of her voice advising me not to do be so eccentric. I shall mend my ways.
Anyway coming back to the point (don’t worry I do have one), today sitting on the college steps chatting with my friends I for the first time realized, that generally people have a horrible tendency to be plain stupid and superficial…or as an author once put it - to be pompous fools. For some crazy metaphysical reason we were discussing the purpose of art and its meaning, and this guy proposed that art is interesting, art is abstract, art is not exact…and yes the clincher art is not original.
Now as fate would have it, Metaphors and I have the most volatile relationship, each conversation of ours is juxtaposed with ten arguments. But this happened to be one of those rare moments when we happened to be on the same side. Art is ANYTHING but ABSTRACT. It’s an expression. It’s the definition of the artists thoughts, the thought maybe abstract…. but the definition cannot be. That doesn’t mean that art surrenders its imaginative medium, cause if it does then as Oscar Wilde once said it surrenders everything. And the moment art shreds its expressive medium it loses purpose. And by god nothing in this world is purposeless. At this point I decided to ask Mr. Original Artist, how he defined original. I mean tell Jimmy Morrison, Van Gogh, and Shakespeare that their art is not original…I am not too sure that they would be too pleased about it. Obviously this fellow wasn’t any good at definitions in school…. cause all he said was that original is a complex word, just like life.
All I can say is that art is an expression of thoughts, beauty, love, hatred, pain, anger, and of LIFE. It’s a product of the human mind. Art is a cause in itself. Art IS original. And yes life is simple, and ITS NOT difficult to keep it that way. Just think simply, logically. Sorry that’s supposed to be a cardinal error. What say Mrs.Iyer?
A big hi! to Sonal.

rock n roll

2005-01-26T11:17:00.000+07:00

'How far you gonna go?
Before you lose your way back home
You've been tryin' to throw your arms
Around the world'
That’s what I kept telling myself and my friend `I told you so’, as we boarded a train from kharagpur to come back to Calcutta. SF 2005………its very unlikely that the two of us would forget the events of the last weekend in a hurry. To state that SF simply rocked would not only be making the most clichéd understatement….but also be testimony to pathetic vocabulary. Parikrama, Indian Ocean, Strings, Zero, friendz - old and new, lots of music..lots of music…….looottttttttttsss of fun. KGP ka TEMPO DEFINATLY HIGH HAI! One question though….why on sweet mother earth would u call it a spring fest if you r freezing to your death inspite of being under a jacket and a shawl?
From dawn to the next dawn (YUP! To the utter dismay of the matron we refused to come back to the hostel before 3:30/4)…we spent our time laughing, dancing and when there was no music….we decided to break into song n dance sequences of our own. A bunch of loony jukeboxes dancing away on the streets of kgp, sounds like a bunch of hobbits from the pages of The Lord of the Rings. And NO! contrary to all presuppositions…”We weren’t drunk or stoned!” We were just high ;>
You know that heady feeling that you get when you try take in too much of something in a short while……well you can say we are drunk on sf. Rockstars, supercomputers, an old war plane, laughter, song n dance, moments of thrill and intense drama. Thrill? Well on Thursday when we had nothing to do, we decided to go and get “lost” in nearby prembazaar woods………and did just that. We got deviated from the track and lost our way. Meanwhile someone had the wisdom to point out that in all Hollywood horror films - the protagonists were stupid enough to do just that and someone else went one step further by asking the whole group to flee….after hearing distant reverberations of a loudspeaker….making them go into state of panic.DAMN THE DEVIL! Ummm… that was me. A conversation with Ms. ‘Timeless Classic’ on the metaphysical aspects of time, a good friend’s ‘thoughtful’ decision to self-destruct (STUPID CUPID!), me falling on an injured knee 5 times (yes, the same knee) and NUKKAD contributed to the dramatic elements of what I must say sounds like the script of a Hollywood blockblaster.
All in all it was a fine juxtaposition of moments of pure joy and ecstasy. Such is the hangover of sf….that people have threatned to socially boycott us till we return to our normal selves. You would too, its quite unnerving to see someone sing and dance in the middle of the day without ne reason at all. Well…there will always be memories of the moments gone by, and a glance ahead in the future towards sf 2006.
Okay, now this was my first blog…..if its good tell me so….if it isn’t……….”PLEASE! Tell me that it was good.”
A BIG HIIIIIIII! To:
Footloose..(U have no idea how glad I was to meet someone who has actually read the atlas shrugged and liked it)
Gramophone (as I said just Sing, sing a song)
‘Y am I still single’ (Thank you. You r a rockstar)
‘I told u so’ (I think I owe you money…cya later. Umm…. have we met before??? ;>) Timeless classic, Suicide (Stay alive for crying out loud!), Saurabh, head n shoulders, Manchild (get a life) and Metaphor,n Lucifer
Ending with word from a favourite u2 song :

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company………

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it