The importance of bullshitting

This post is dedicated to Binny Malik, and the many unsung heroes of that fabulous art of bullshitting. I really wanted to dedicate it to Maryann, but she refuses to be the champion of anything but chronic neck pain.

Now let me explain the purpose of this post, and before you roll your eyes, let me confirm that there is one. Now think of all the rough situations you have been in life, all the times when you were facing a question to which you didn't know the answer, a dilemma which had no escape, a moral compromise which could have been avoided or a mistake without an excuse. Now think of the only thing that saved you from the clutches of that blasted killjoy - the conscience or your mom's glare - bullshit! Bullshit that fetched you a four instead of a zero in your answer, and bullshit that made you feel better about yourself when you knew you were doing the wrong thing.

Now someone once told me that if you can't bedazzle them with brilliance, then befuddle them with bullshit. I won't go to the extent of saying that I am well acquainted with this art, but I am a dedicated student. You see, once I can master this noble art, life would simply be easier to deal with, and the loopholes will be easier to figure (refer to previous post.) So as a student, I questioned a few of my contemporaries on the usefulness of bullshitting.

Maryann: Amusement. Its good for the soil. I mean you want to pull your hair out of their skull. Bullshit brings sanity into our lives and neutralizes the shittiness of it all. Its like a catalyst.

Binny: (after putting a considerable amount of thought into what was obviously the question of the century!)Its a very good exercise, when someone bullshits in front of you:
A) you roll ur eyes
B) you want to slap that person
It also completes the cycle of foodchain and excretion. Bullshit is consumed by detrivorous microbes that feed on shit. This shit is already on the ground and acts as a manure to plants. The plants by the act of photosynthesis, open and close their stomata to produce food. This food is consumed by bulls who shit.

*** Don't bother to ask me what this means, if you want an explanation, Binny can draw a chart for you.

Tulika: Its a talent, with which very few people are gifted with, and very essential in life. (ummm I was hoping for a less page 3 ish response... she is going to kill mme for saying this... my gawd i am still typing!)

Deepesh: I refrain from such kind of activities. (Oh btw he is the guy who invented the wireless mouse USB device!)

The baap of all bullshitters: The importance of bullshitting is that you get to say exactly what you want to say in the garb of wit. It's an assertion of independence from conformity and ass kissing, it is almost a political statement of individuality and personal rebellion.

Here's a bullshitter's take on idiots:

1. Idiots: That beautiful group of people that make living life worthwhile.If it weren't for idiots,life would be extremely boring not to mention there would be practically none of us left! But the most delightful aspect of idiots(and believe me there are quite a few) is their fascinating tendency to try cover up their being idiots by being bigger idiots.Unfortunately,the problem is if you try cover up bullshit with more bullshit all you really get is a big pile of bullshit that stinks(literally.)But i guess shit is good for the soil right? And that's what idiots do...they enrich the soil which grows more produce which feeds more bulls which leads to more bullshit and the cycle continues.That's the beauty of idiots.They are a renewable source of energy.As long as there are people, there will always be idiots. Fuck hydrogen, we got the ultimate renewable source of energy here! If only some scientist would try harness the infinite potential of this characteristic of humans that makes us the superior species we are.Being idiots is what separates us from the animals!By the way... in case you're confused... I am an idiot too!